a querry in Ubin

Sunday, October 3, 2010

this morning

Holidays... waking up to beautiful day... it is a little bit late - 7.00AM - compared to my ideal 5:30AM... never mind. I open the door and can see the beautiful garden, the frangipanis and many different palms... the clear blue sky... I step forward, grab a magazine and sit comfortably on the coach, ready to devore whatever pages will grab my attention.

Then... i stop for a while... what am I doing? Why am I jumping on a magazine like a beast on a piece of meat? Which benefit will I derive from it? Did I ever plan and desire ardently for it? Or is that just the impulse of a moment - as I step out of "my" night, gaze around, breath out in the open air.... Why is my mind stopping there... zeroing on this decision? What is resting there?

As I stop... I reflect.... why? I do feel like a beast... some lower instinct has been at play... I can feel that.... As I ponder... something feels about right? there is a real breathing in this paused moment.... a paused moment - combined with a suspended action...

And the thought of a "detached" magazine - a magazine hanging there and without much necessity - is bringing quiet............ [unfinished]

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