acting for good

If you have the means of acting for good, your good and the good of others, do not hesitate to do so...

The a-place is a palace
Dress up - Wear your clothing of light
And adorn your King
He will always look upon you and
Be there for you
In the Soul-kingdom
Where fountains never dry up
And flowers are waiting to be picked

It is up to you to imagine

It is up to you to imagine... What?
The world is crazy...
and man is destroying himself... and man is destroying the world
His desires are such that he is depleting his own world.
Killing each other, plundering each other grounds, acquiring and stealing instead of sharing, nurturing or protecting... How to change such behaviors?
It is up to you to imagine...

Pursue your quest - tirelessly

Pursue your quest - tirelessly

Comply with the laws of evolution

What you feel, encourage you to go further in your investigations

this parallel life in you

When you become aware of this parallel life in you...

the awakening of the soul

the awakening of life to the life of the soul

who feed on what?

feel the feelings - that is

observe

activity in passivity

Master

Oh Master
Now I understand - do I?
Now - just now, I thought I understood
I have - Have I?
In a flash... Oh Master
Thou art the real goal of human life
Oh Master, you
Whoever You are
You Master
The One I can ---in my heart --- elect
the One
Whoever he is
Does it matter... for you or you or you...
The One - in my heart - I elect
Do I - even - know?
Do I - even - chose?
Did I - ever - come to, come to, close to know...?
Did I?

Oh Master --- who he is? am i asked? Who?
Does it matter to you?
The One and only one I would ever elect to be the one
My Master
Your Master
Masters deserving to named and loved as Masters
Masters of their Lives and Servants of Humanity
Masters for whomsoever is looking for help and guidance
Hands offered to any child and any parents and anyone

Oh Master - you - the One - in there - thou art the real goal of human life
And the night without light would not be the night of a day
And the sky without stars would be the sky of our earth
And a life without a mum to bear you would not be
Life

Ecrire
Son histoire
Ecrire son histoire - pas tellement son histoiure - ecrire comme on promene un miroir le long d'un chemin
Qu' y voit-on?

La vie quand j avance
Eviter la pontification, le jufement
il y a dans l;ecriture la possibilite de la presence du jugement et la possibilite de l;absence de jugement
Biensur j ai un soiuci - inconsciuent - de refuser le jugementr dans l'ecriture
Meme si il y a aussi une tendance a ecrore de maniere qui juge - sans doute ce que j appelle pontifier

jugement ici equivaut probablemet a quelque chose comne: "arrivere a conclusion:"
donc eviter toutes conclusions
presenter, partager, ...

J ai toujours eu une certaine connection avec ce que j'appelle ;es etapes de la vie
Quelles seraient ces etapes si je devais les decrire

0-1 ans: age inconscient
1-3 ans: age des premiers souvenirs
3-6 ans: ages des premiers sentiments - impressions, avec des emotions humaines, notament la beaute, la tristesse, l;abandon, la joie, l'effort etc...
6-11 ans: age des relations humaines, du pouvoir, de la seduction, une grande innocence
11- 28 ans: laisser aller, desenchantement, mensonge (dedoublement de personnalite...), abandon des choses auxquelles on croit, ... avec quelques sursaut (etudes de philosophies et quitter la France et quitter l'entreprise Fournier pour monter ses propres affaires)

28 - 35 ans: bataille pour etablir un "espace de verite"
35 - 40 ans: platforme de vie - vie familiale entre autre

change

Change is happening

A KIND OF LIGHT POINTED AT THE HORIZON
A faint light has started to peep through the horizon

Change is happening
to whom we have to align
we have a choice

seek .. or ignore
what is there to be found?
seeking... what is there to be found?
the light... a line of light pointing at the horizon
is showing something
something
like a way?

as we seek we change
as we seek we more and more become like what
we are seeking

does it make sense?
can water become like a bucket
can the sand get wet?
can the bird pick the worm
and the bee the polen
and the child, the mum's hand?

Awakening to a peaceful fighting spirit? Is that possible?

"Humanity is in the grip of negative forces that cannot entirely be counter-balanced by the best aspects"
Every day is a battle in some way... what are we fighting for? What is in sight? Very far... very near
... Too far .... Too near.... I am getting lost... though I should never lose sight
Of what? A far far far goal? A near near near present and ... Now
In between this tension... the Now now... and the tensions and the pains and the doubts and the questions
Far, near
Keep it up... Face up... Keep it up... gently, ... crying....lost.... together.... alone....
Awakening to a peaceful fighting spirit? Is that possible?

Je suis ne avec un terrible handicap - 2001-2002

Je suis né avec un terrible handicap
Je suis né sans talent particulier
Je suis ne avec une sensibilité particuliere
C'est une maladie - un handicap
Contre tout instinct, en particulier mes instincts les
plus précieux instincts animaux de survie,
ma sensibilité est une fonction débilitante
qui me tourne vers des directions inattendues et dangereuses

                        la mort, les étoiles
                          la plus extreme fragilité
                            une communication inversée
                              du dehors vers le dedans
                              et ayant quelque chose a voir avec cette
                              extreme fragilité (d'une  manière qu'il reste a voir)
                        la peur et un sens de la peur particulier

     Je suis né, comme d'autres, sous cette étoile
     et serai donc pour le reste de mes jours
     ce type-la de berger

Journal - 1988-1989

En 2003, j ai decide d'appeler cette partie de mes "ecrits" / ou de mon "journal" ainsi:

Vu d'en haut - envol ... & crash

Cela signifie: mes aspirations dans leur pureté, l'expression d’idéaux élevés et une certaine souffrance.
Puis le crash.... la mise en terre, en quelque sorte... le deuil et sans doute, pour quelques temps du moins, la résignation, la lassitude, l'endormissement, l'oubli (qui n'en n'est réellement pas un)

Einst hatte ich Wilde Hunde.... kleine singerinen

20 Mars 1989 angoisse de la mort

On parle beaucoup de cette angoisse de la mort, de ce vide. Je ne l'ai jamais ressenti,... ou jamais su la décrypter en tout cas. Peut être ma vie est-elle trop pleine pour que je pense a la mort profondément (je veux dire que je vis trop). Mais par ailleurs, j'ai déjà ressenti mainte fois cette angoisse-ci: dois-je prendre conscience de moi-même comme être - entité - isole, parmi les autres. Je prenais conscience de mes responsabilités durant toute ma vie, ou je devais, moi seul, m’élever, être autonome, responsable devant moi-même et les autres. Il y avait les arbres, les plantes... pourquoi n'en étais-je pas? J’étais moi et seul.

Cette angoisse est celle de la la vie (de l'homme face a autrui), pas de la mort.
Peut être ces angoisses dont j'ai déjà parle sont-elles celles de la peur de la vie?

Rien ne sert de pleurer sur son sort, sur notre sort et nos malheurs, ... je prends le part d'en rire

L'adolescence - fin 1988

L'adolescence n'est ni un mur, ni une  étape; c'est le zenith de la vie, la plénitude morale et spirituelle car c'est: un etat receptif, humble, modeste, sense, parvenu, reflechi..., et non borne, vicieux, etc... comme l'est l'age adulte. Malheureusement on est plus longtemps adulte qu'adolescent, et les adultes ont toujours raison. Alors en vieillissant, ils renient leur adolescence "age ingrat". Pour ma part, j'essaierai de conserver mon etat d'esprit actuel de quete et de recherche, et j'essaierai de m'en souvenir; de mon adolescence, de mes questions, reflexions et promesses.

Idee de recherche: le moi: la conscience etc... la morale
le comportement, le groupe
l'enfance

"l'innocence, s'est se pardonner a soi-meme
la purete, c'est ne rien faire"

En route sur la voix difficile de la maitrise de soi

Nouvelle  année 2011
En route sur la voix difficile de la maîtrise de soi

100 fois sur le metier remettez votre ouvrage

Faire face
Faire preuve de resources

Mes resolutions 2011:
1.8 millions de ventes a Singapour, la Malaisie, la Thailande

Surtout: etre a l'ecoute - etre a l'ecoute et faire face - face et cote
Mettre a niveau ce que je pense, ressens et ce que je fais et entreprends

Le Monde.fr: Benoît Mandelbrot, explorateur du chaos 2

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Benoît Mandelbrot, explorateur du chaos

Le mathématicien inventeur de la géométrie fractale se passionne pour des domaines, comme la finance, où la science bute sur la complexité. En assurant sa propre promotion.

LE MONDE | 2005/06/24 13:18:14- mis à jour le 2010/10/16 18:37:52

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Usage strictement personnel. L'utilisateur du site reconnait avoir pris connaissance de la licence de droits d'usage, en accepter et en respecter les dispositions.

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Le Monde.fr: Benoît Mandelbrot, explorateur du chaos

Cette information vous a été envoyée par : lodier@outdoorinasia.com

Message : Le mathématicien inventeur de la géométrie fractale se passionne pour des domaines, comme la finance, où la science bute sur la complexité.

sponsorisés par  

Envoyer par mail

Benoît Mandelbrot, explorateur du chaos

Le mathématicien inventeur de la géométrie fractale se passionne pour des domaines, comme la finance, où la science bute sur la complexité. En assurant sa propre promotion.

LE MONDE | 2005/06/24 13:18:14- mis à jour le 2010/10/16 18:37:52

---

Droit de reproduction et de diffusion reservé © Le Monde.fr 2010

Usage strictement personnel. L'utilisateur du site reconnait avoir pris connaissance de la licence de droits d'usage, en accepter et en respecter les dispositions.

Politique de confidentialité du site. Besoin d'aide ? faq.lemonde.fr | Qui sommes-nous ?

Histoires pour les enfants - A dormir debout - Story to sleep

20 Aout 2006

Histoires pour les enfants  - par ludovic Odier

Once upon a time, little Babe is in her bed and when she closes her eyes to sleep, she can see something very big, slowly moving towards her.

The night has fallen inside her eyes

The night has fallen inside her eyes,... millions of little dots are moving all around.

They are like (sand) small grains of sands, moving in lines, some horizontally, some vertically, some doing zigzags.

They are like the lights of cars in the streets at night

They are like the millions stars of the sky, in Summer in the country side.

They are like a huge fireworks that you can see from far far away and though feel you are so close.



And slowly, it seems that the day is coming. A block of daylight, like a big cloud is pushing darkness and settle down... right there.... in front of Babe's eyes - inside her 2 eyes softly closed together.

 

There is a bird
 

There is a bird, and another bird... a dady bird, and another, a mumy bird. They are flying in the day sky. And their flight is like the dance of the stars, Like the grains of sand. They fly across following invisible lines, sometime horizontally from branch to branch, vertically from the nest to the ground and back up again. Or many times they zigzag among branches ... telling each other how much they love each other and how happy they are to have little baby birds waiting in the nest. 

  
  

Then mamy bird, bring a little worm to the babies, then look around, perched on the branch along the nest. She looks right, looks left, she looks up than she looks down… and here she goes down, all the way down the branch, the tree, the forest, meadow, the valley. She flies down to the river, the beautiful river

 

There is a river 


There is a river, a beautiful river, with clear water and blue reflections.

The reflections are blue, light blue and sometime, when the sunlight become bright, the same reflections become blue-green.

  

Like the grains of sand, like the birds, they go all around, the reflections....some time all the way down the river, vertical to the bottom or sometime along the river bed, in line horizontals or sometime in zigzags following the curves of the river.

   

Down the river are many stones, some big, some small, like pebbles, turning around gently with the current and like the grains of sand, like the flock of birds, and like the blue and green-blue reflections - they  - too - turn around in all directions and they go down, down the river, along with fishes, frogs and mosquitoes
  


Down the river is the bigger river and further down the sea, the ocean. The big sea with blue reflections, dark blue reflections, sometime green-emerald and darker and darker a bit like the night when it falls and millions, millions of little dots are moving and moving around, like sand grains, like stones, like birds, like millions of stars and a huge fire work far far away.

    

There are stars, there are planets, there are reflections and the golden sun

  

this morning

Holidays... waking up to beautiful day... it is a little bit late - 7.00AM - compared to my ideal 5:30AM... never mind. I open the door and can see the beautiful garden, the frangipanis and many different palms... the clear blue sky... I step forward, grab a magazine and sit comfortably on the coach, ready to devore whatever pages will grab my attention.

Then... i stop for a while... what am I doing? Why am I jumping on a magazine like a beast on a piece of meat? Which benefit will I derive from it? Did I ever plan and desire ardently for it? Or is that just the impulse of a moment - as I step out of "my" night, gaze around, breath out in the open air.... Why is my mind stopping there... zeroing on this decision? What is resting there?

As I stop... I reflect.... why? I do feel like a beast... some lower instinct has been at play... I can feel that.... As I ponder... something feels about right? there is a real breathing in this paused moment.... a paused moment - combined with a suspended action...

And the thought of a "detached" magazine - a magazine hanging there and without much necessity - is bringing quiet............ [unfinished]

balances and imbalances, beyond excitement and depression

Dealing with deep imbalances in my life
Between excitement and depression
Motivation and fears and worries
Sent from my iPhone

Maybe there is a greater sense of balance
once we integrate those movements, those pendulations, oscillations

One of the idea I am making mine - maybe as part of my spiritual training - is that these ideas could drop.
Excitement... this is temporarily... Where does it come from? some new ideas? so ideas of success... oh yeah!! great!! it will work well!! or maybe... some old dreams... let's discover this remote island somewhere.... great...

But dreams do come true... not immediatly though and not as a result of excitement. The kick of excitement is ... illusion (some hormones and other chemicals...) and illusory (great, let's do it...).

Enthusiasm is different... more subdued... less flashy or noisy... something of an underlying feeling of hope and faith in things happening...

Now what is depression? This feeling - sometimes overwhelming - often overwhelming I would say - that things are not right at all. Maybe nothing is right... A taste of overall failure... what should look bright and colorful looks dim and grey... what others look at with pride, I do not have and/or no pride... a sense of loss, emptiness... It is like... I do not have that - I am not that...

As I write: I sense: who is talking? what is it about? The feeling when I am depressed is real real. Oh yes it is....And like a cat, I feel like going to rest in a quiet, isolated corner... no energy, no impulse. But what is the loss, what are the regrets? things I am dreaming about? Things I wish I would have? Ways I wish I could be? It like: what should look bright and colorful looks dim and grey... right? But who said it should in the first place? What others have, I do not have. Who said there is any value at all in there? Having what? for what?

There is a construct of what we believe is success, what we believe is right, what we believe should be done and how it should be done. Who can really agree on any of these? Is there any single truth there? Wanting vs needing is about that maybe.... Wanting is likely to bring about suffering. Because who really knows what's best?

So in a nutshell, depression seems to be a by product of frustrated desires and un-met wants and un-confirmed believes. Gides - the French writer - was saying that prejudices are the stilts upon on which civilization is built. Nothing to be proud of but true as it may be, we are building our world(s) on fantasies.

OK then. Next: what is the truth in setting up our goals then?
How can I ensure that the foundations upon which I am building my entire life are not dreams and prejudices? fantasies, nice-to-have wants without solid ground?

Dreams: what is it about dreaming? Is dreaming only a counter-productive activity that gets me out of reality? Shall I discard the idea? Can I dream reality? I do believe reality needs to be dreamt. I do believe in the power of vision and that vision is the most powerful, direct way of creating reality and aligning people to goals and images of what to create.

So dream is powerful in a context of creation. Active creation.
Excitement and depression are activities that seems to take place in reaction to specific events.
Maybe there is a big distinction here. The same type of distinction Robert Fritz is making in The Path of Least Resistance. Dream is powerful when it is taken out of a reactive context and place in a creative context.

So what about my excitements... my depressions...
Reactive emotions to a set of hidden wants, un-resolved desires...
Being successful... being rich... being powerful... commanding authority... these are old dreams of mine
Let put them on the table, have a good look... again... and a good laugh... one tear or two... sure... another big good laugh.... a pat on the shoulder too... I mean ... I do not think I need to look down on me either right? my whole education has been based on these ideas... these illusions and vicious, toxic ideas...

As I think about it... I can't help finding value in the scene... vicious, toxic ideas and values, intoxicating a youth's dreams and aspirations, leading someone sometime for his/her entire life... poisoning his/her life and the whole society... these are there on the table and I can chose to look at them, laugh and burn them away.

I can say: these are the vicious, toxic ideas that have been poisoning my life, spoiling my aspiration and leading me to either excitement or depression whereas they are just a waste of time.

But hey... is there no reason at all - in the whole world - to be depressed?
I guess the point is that depression belong to a context of passivity and reactivity...
The feeling is neither wrong, nor right. It is... It is there... The source is not really real...
Depression is telling me that there is something which I cannot accept here, though it is as it is...
I am resisting something... that which makes me depressed is the difference, the gap, between what I would like to be and the way it is in reality... It does not match... I am suffering!!  what is real over-rides the way I had imagined it could or should be. This I cannot accept when I am about to get depressed.

So here we go... making a list of what we want seems a good step.
This list is a first step... then have a good look at it... add and delete as much as I can.
Then have another good look... and many good look... Is that really what I want?
What if I have it? what is it for?

This list bears similarity to the list of "primary wants" as Robert Fritz puts it. But I believe it is quite different.
Could I want money? What for?

Anyway... the idea is to clarify what we think is really worth the while in our life....
So it brings us back to goals of life.
We also still have the question of fears, and worries and motivation
Motivation is about what we want, right? But there is something of our spirit too - it seems - in the question of motivation. The drive... some primary energy... something of the instinct....
Let's wait and see before we come back to these.


 

Who wants to create a new society?

"You take society as it is for granted. Why? You who don't belong to the poor class, who are fairly well-to-do, why don't you revolt - not as a communist or a socialist, but revolt against the whole social system? You can afford to do it, so why don't you use your intelligence to find out what is true and create a new society?"


Guess who is it from? email me and you will win a prize of value if you are right. You will also win something if you are wrong. Good luck and let the fun begins.

what is it that really drives me?

what is it that really drives me?

there is an inner quest
there is restlessness
there are feelings... learning to trust them... while...

while distinguishing the wheat from the chaff
what to keep and what to throw

throwing away old desires... possibly old dreams

why keeping them? why not let the present nourish the future

not bringing the past into the present...
what is NOW? what is next from THIS space, NOW

this deserves meditation
life becomes meditation then
...
there is a sense of enterprise... there is

an enterprise of higher nature than simply a business... not that a business is either low or bad... how to align the business to the higher planes? higher aspirations? higher powers? higher motivations?

bringing clarity there... not just at the level of business plans and reporting... is that so? IS THAT SO?
...
the business of transformation... gently through questioning, probing, suffering

where is the force? she may not be required... i mean the force vs the power... power flows

from the question ... suspended... follows something... an aspiration, a gentle calling... IS THAT SO?

from clarity follows strength... also
when the answer is co-created... i mean... when the answer is of a cosmic nature
then clarity should be.... where?... in the question.... in the questions
in the framework... is there such a thing?
a framework for life?

this THIS IS THE QUESTION OF THE FRAMEWORK OF LIFE VS A STRATEGIC FRAMEWORK FOR THE BUSINESS... what do we decide and what not?

Rainy day - Old ideas - Fresh waters

la la la

voila le la

Sous la poussiere la matiere

se passer de repeter les memes vieilles choses
parce que c'est ce que tout le monde fait, en faisant de son mieux de les faire sonner neuves... les cloches du village
A 4 ans, 8 ans, 12 ans, 16 ans et toute sa vie... s'appliquer a repeter ce que les autres veulent entendre

Oublier les explications
parce qu elles sont souvent confuses ... non? parce qu elles se contredisent tout le temps... oui!
vraiment... la philosophie dans les manuels... quel exercise epuisant
au moins la justice a des juges pour juges, des peines pour punir et liberer... ca n'est pas vraiment drole, mais ca bouge, ca evolue, c'est vivant.... mais les raisons et les explications souvent... creuses et futiles

Outdoor education - "The curious garden" - what does that mean?

Thinking about the 4 objectives stated for the 4th outdoor education conference 2010 in Singapore.
As a prelude to sharing more specific, personal thoughts:

1- to explore how outdoor education (OE) can enhance the holistic development of Singapore students as part of the curriculum and/or co-curricular activity programmes

2- to encourage the design and delivery of quality OE programmes through the sharing of best practices...

3- to examine the role of research in the delivery of quality OE programmes in schools through sharing of research findings

4 - to establish an international network through the sharing of knowledge and best practices by academics, educators, service providers and others interested in he field.

Sensitivity and detached attachement

When you do something, you can be very engrossed into what you are doing. You become - in some way - what you are doing. Another way, is to be aware of what you are doing - you are doing it and you are also kind of watching yourself doing it... and somehow... you maybe laughing and thinking... Hey I am doing my best. So if it does not work out as planned and expected, you are thinking: "Hey I am doing my best". Maybe you will also be thinking: "Hey, can I do something differently?".

Now if I am so engaged into what I am doing, if I am so passionate about doing it, ... isn't it good? My commitment will be strong and I will deploy all my strength, my will and courage... That's a good thing and a sure recipe for success. But now, what if things do not go as planned? My expectations are not met? I am un-able to achieve my goal... Will I get crossed? Will I get frustrated?  Won't I start to react - more and more angrily and growing impatient? Probably. But not necessarily, provided I am able to do what I am describing in the first paragraph: I am watching myself, I am aware of what I am doing and telling myself: Am i doing my best? Yes - Can I do it differently?

By giving myself the chance to follow detached attitude, I am not allowing myself to get too angry or frustrated. I can chose to back out such dreadful and destructive feelings. It's my choice and I am giving myself the chance to make decision because I am NOT just what I am doing, I am ALSO watching myself doing it - This attitude is called detachment.

If I were only detached, would I even start doing what I am doing? Would I be passionate about it? Would I commit all the time and energy into it? Maybe yes, maybe not - And in all likelihood - as soon as I would be facing difficulty and obstacles, my drive would dampen and I may just move on to some other thing - without ill-feeling - true - but without any success, without being able to create the change I needed to as I was starting to do the needful.

Being detached is not the solution - it is only part of the solution. To sustain my effort, I need commitment, passion and engagement. This is some form of attachment to achieving the goal. Now, how do you combine detachment and attachment? This attitude is called detached attachment. Let's bring in the passion, drive and engagement but not at the cost of peace, cool-mindedness and clear decision taking. Let's bring in detachment and a relax attitude, but not at the cost of  nonchalance, negligence or lack of interest.

Now my initial intention while starting this post was to think and share about sensitivity. I enjoy tremendously this moment when I can decide - internally - to suspend all judgment - getting out of fear, out of stress (out of any emotional state, positive or negative) - This create an attitude of observation - like the hunter pausing (see previous blog on pausing). This will call SENSITIVIY. As we develop sensitivity, we build the muscle of detached attachment.

Talk soon ;-)

Observing Pausing

Old habits

Kicking them out

Victim of them - falling victim of them

First step

The second is to to realise it... then only do I discover...

I discover : the habit - the pattern behind, the desire and the impulse of the desire

I discover: my falling for it,... like a gentle slope drawing me - easilly and almoste naturally - to it

I discover: the laws of attraction and repulsion

What used to attract me start to repulse me

The opposite, start to attract me... let s linger here... PAUSE

PAUSE - PAUSE... gentle pause

Unless I pause, how can the magic take place?

The magic

What aspires!! What aspire?

That! This! That that we just revealed and observed and that which we pause to better grasp...

The play - insiduous play of what points to, come out and comes back in... like a snake

Neither good nor bad but always pointing - impulse of desire

That plays a game of which rule we forget - conveniently - because at some time the game play us and we do not play anymore - we have become the play board, the unfortunate battle field.


As I pause - i see, sense, seize

A substle decision can be made - it can be made and for it to stand it needs be deeper than the very current that has been agitating us in the first place...

The decision - the depth matters - not the decision in itself - we are shallow people making decision all the time. (maybe that is the difference between making and taking - this one needs to be take)

Subtle because - for example - i may not advertise - I may not broadcast - I may not even be conscious. But I will always know DEEP DOWN


And the magic can play... the tide can reverse, the sea can withdraw

The habit is kicked off

The habit is ... still there

Now it matters less or no more

As the currents run and the waves pass by

We are laughing of it

And we watch as it watches

And we waive as it waives

Until it fades

While acceptance remains

The morning - Facing the blank. Facing our fears

Holidays... waking up to beautiful day... it is a little bit late - 7.00AM - compared to my ideal 5:30AM... never mind. I open the door and can see the beautiful garden, the frangipanis and many different palms... the clear blue sky... I step forward, grab a magazine and sit comfortably on the coach, ready to devore whatever pages will grab my attention.

Then... i stop for a while... what am I doing? Why am I jumping on a magazine like a beast on a piece of meat? Which benefit will I derive from it? Did I ever plan and desire ardently for it? Or is that just the impulse of a moment - as I step out of "my" night, gaze around, breath out in the open air.... Why is my mind stopping there... zeroing on this decision? What is resting there?

As I stop... I reflect.... why? I do feel like a beast... some lower instinct has been at play... I can feel that.... As I ponder... something feels about right? There is a real breathing in this paused moment.... a paused moment - combined with a suspended action...


And the thought of a "detached" magazine - a magazine hanging there and without much necessity - is bringing quiet peace and some relieve to a tired mind.

Early in the day - just after a full night sleep.... and still tired? Why is that?

As if the mind seldom rest... an over busy mind it seems... a magazine-devorer, beast-like mind…

Fighting or fleeing human beings? Fighting what? Fleeing from what?

What is scaring me so much so that I will jump on a magazine rather than face it?

Is that fear? or is that un-consciousness? Like... not knowing what to do and doing something... just something... instead of facing the blank?